I remember always feeling like my introversion held me back. Whether it was feeling too shy, getting overwhelmed in large crowds, or not being able to stand up for myself. I used to look at extroverts and envy them. Why couldn’t I be outgoing and confident? Why couldn’t I hold everyone’s attention so well? Why couldn’t I speak my mind like they could?

And because people value extroverted qualities so much, it made me feel like my introversion was a weakness. At school, I was never one for answering questions for fear of getting the answer wrong. At work, I struggled to voice my own opinions and would just go along with things. In life, I felt invisible or not liked, and I often let my own doubts get to me.

But as I got older, something changed. It wasn’t an immediate change, and I certainly didn’t go from disliking being an introvert to loving it overnight. No, the change was gradual. It took a lot of self-growth, a lot of self-reflection, and a shift in how I viewed the world and, more importantly, myself. And, slowly but surely, I came to accept myself as an introvert—and now I can’t imagine myself any other way. 

How I Eventually Learnt to Love My Introversion 

I Stopped Caring About What People Think of Me 

As an introvert, this was easier said than done, but once it clicked, it stuck. I remember thinking, why do I actually care what people think about me? What value does that bring to my life? Nothing. Someone’s opinion shouldn’t hold such power and influence over me, especially over who I am and how I live my life. 

I definitely think this is something that gets easier as you get older, because you realise that there is so much more to life than what other people think about you. But I also think my mind was my own worst enemy—I assumed that people were judging me, even though they probably weren’t. Or if they were, I was overthinking it way too much. These days, if people judge me, it doesn’t bother or faze me anymore.

I realised the only opinion that should matter is my own, because I’m the one in control of my life. And I’m the only one who can better myself.

Once I stopped caring about other people’s opinions, it felt like the weight of worry I’d been carrying was finally off my shoulders. I felt more carefree, and started doing things with less anxiety and worry of judgement. I simply felt like I could be myself and if other people didn’t like it, then so what? 

I Stopped Comparing Myself to Extroverts 

Comparison can be a hard habit to break, and it’s one I used to cling to—but not anymore. The person I was before, however, used to measure my worth against other people—their success, their pace, and their confidence. I always saw them as better, and I wanted to be more like them. More extroverted. 

But then I realised something: their path isn’t mine. And the more I thought about it, the more I also realised that I didn’t want it to be mine. In fact, constantly holding myself up to someone else’s life was only robbing me of joy in my own.

So I stopped.

Not all at once, and definitely not perfectly. But I started to see that it wasn’t a competition. Why look at someone else’s growth and their qualities when I could focus on my own and actually be my authentic self? I reminded myself that I can admire others without questioning myself. That their light doesn’t dim mine.

I Realised That My Strengths Were Valuable 

What I previously believed were the negatives of being an introvert turned out to be my greatest strengths. But the truth is, they were my strengths all along–I just needed to realise they were.

For so long, I saw my quiet nature as something to fix. I thought being reserved was a weakness, something that made me less visible and less capable. I envied the ease with which others could speak in large groups or how easy it was for them to make connections. 

But over time, I started to notice things about myself. How deep my observations were. How calm I was during chaos. How much I listened to others and made them feel heard. And I realised just how valuable these strengths were—not just for myself, but for others too. 

I Started to Understand My Introversion 

It’s hard to accept something that you don’t understand and that’s exactly what was happening to me. I couldn’t learn to love being an introvert until I fully understood what being an introvert actually meant.

At the time, I thought introversion was just being quiet and shy. And I thought it was the reason behind my struggles. I blamed it for why I felt drained after social events, why group settings overwhelmed me, and why I sometimes stumbled over my words when put on the spot. I thought if I could just be more outgoing, more talkative, just more like an extrovert, everything would be easier.

But I was wrong.

The problem wasn’t my introversion—it was my misunderstanding of it. I was trying to fit myself into a mould that wasn’t made for me, and every time I failed to fit, I blamed myself. So, something needed to change. I needed to understand myself better. And that’s exactly what I did.

I began to understand that introverts are just built differently, and that’s not a bad thing. We see and experience the world differently. In fact, everyone does. And there’s no right or wrong way. 

The more I embraced my nature, the more I realised I didn’t need to become someone else to be worthy. I just needed to be me. 

I Simply Changed My Mindset

When people say “mindset is everything,” they aren’t lying. It really is everything, and it’s such a powerful thing. And my mindset shift wasn’t this big, dramatic thing, like flipping a switch. It was a quiet shift. A series of small choices and thoughts that slowly started to change how I saw myself and my world.

I went from asking, “Why am I like this?” to, “What if this is actually okay?”
From thinking, “I’m not enough,” to, “Maybe I am.”

Instead of seeing what I thought were the negatives of my introversion, I began to focus on the positives, like my love for solitude and how it fuels my creativity. Sure, I’ll never be the loudest or most confident voice in the room, but I know how to make a deep and meaningful connection. 

And the best thing is, my change in mindset didn’t change who I was—it simply made me see the value in myself. 

How You Can Learn to Love Being an Introvert 

Learning to love and accept yourself as an introvert doesn’t happen overnight. Oh, how I wish it were that easy. But it’s the journey that actually matters, not some perfect destination where you suddenly feel 100% confident and never doubt yourself again. And the journey often starts with unlearning everything you thought was “wrong” with you.

Take my advice and stop caring about what other people think. Stop comparing yourself to others. Know that you can change your mindset and realise your potential. And:

Start By Trying to Accept Who You Are

You’re probably thinking, “That isn’t so easy—and if I could have, I would have done it by now.” And, don’t get me wrong, I understand. It’s easy to throw these words at you and expect you to take them on, but just remember, acceptance is something you can practise. You don’t have to just decide to accept yourself and hope for the best.

It starts with noticing how often you judge yourself for simply being who you are. And it starts with pausing when you catch that voice in your head saying, “You should be more this or less that,” and instead asking, “But what if I’m okay as I am?”

You don’t have to love every part of yourself right away—that’s difficult. Even the most confident of people struggle with some part of themselves. But if you get more curious about yourself instead of critical, you’ll start to see the real you. A you that you can accept and learn to love.

Find Your People

As an introvert, one of the most healing things you can do is surround yourself with people who get you. People who understand your introversion and don’t expect you to be anything more than what you already are. 

For a long time, I thought I had to keep up with everyone else, especially if I wanted to make friends and not feel left out. I thought I had to be more social, say yes to every invite, and stay in conversations even when I was mentally checked out. I thought that’s what friendship looked like. What being liked looked like.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. You see, real connection doesn’t force you to put on a performance. The right people will make being yourself around them feel easy. They’ll respect and understand you. And you’ll know exactly when you find them because it won’t feel like a chore—it will be natural and effortless. 

Know That You Don’t Need to Change Who You Are

This is one of the most important things to remember. Never feel like you have to change who you are, especially for someone else. Learning to love being an introvert is realising that you don’t need to fit into someone else’s idea of normal. Because there’s no such thing. Everyone’s different—even introverts. 

It may feel like an impossible challenge to begin with, but you can learn to love yourself. Stop trying to fight your introversion and start honouring it. Embrace your uniqueness because there’s no one else like you, and there never will be.